Determination

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Beyond my determination is the will to keep moving
Beyond my determination is the will never to stop
Beyond my determination is to overcome the obstacles
Beyond my determination is what i have to achieve
Why i started all that matters not what is holding me back
The road to success is rough, very rough and tough
I will sweat, suffer and will be at the point of giving up
The tunnel is very dark, darker than ever imagined
But my determination will make me see the light at the end of the tunnel
The road to success is filled with sinister, whirlwind, dark cloud,
But i will see the rain through perseverance, after the rain comes sunshine
Giving up is not an option beyond my determination
Because winners are willing to do what losers cannot.
Be Determined.

Book Review: Violence by Festus Iyayi

A beautiful novel centered in a contemporary Nigerian setting. This is a realistic novel that show cases the exact happening of our society of then and still happening now.

Violence as the title depicts has four major character: Idemudia, Adisa, Queen and Obofun. Festus Iyayi is a realistic writer that focuses on mostly societal and political issues of the country. He uses the four major character to portray this very well, in the book.

His description in the novel especially the setting, is so spectacular, I could imagine life then and as it is being lived now. Idemudia, husband to Adisa is a strong, determined and hardworking man, endowed with strength and dignity. A kind hearted man from a polygamous poor background who was unlucky with his ungrateful father, fought for the right of his mother, that led to him, his mother and siblings being chased out of their father’s house.

He married Adisa, a beautiful and loving wife, Idemudia would do any work except stealing to feed himself and his wife, Adisa. Their poverty as portrayed his the novel is such a gripping one, one would hold one’s head in the bowl of the hands and question such life. After waking in the morning, they had to be quiet to listen to the “time of the day” from a faraway radio, that’s how poor they are. Idemudia will sometimes sell is blood in pants to feed himself and his wife, they live a day or two, without having nothing to feed themselves with, they had no job and there was no Job for their kind.

Queen, a ruthless rich woman, who has everything going on for her through the help of her husband who named all his businesses in her name. This gave her power (hedge) over others. She encountered Idemudia, who helped her with her car when It got stocked in the mud, Ungrateful Queen drove off without appreciating, later waited few miles away, to offer Idemudia Job, asking him to come with 3 other men, to offload 500 bags of cement. She offered them a small fee. The hunger and weakness in Idemudia after the job led him to the hospital.

This led to his wife sourcing for every means to take care of her husband. This led to her meeting Obofun, Queen’s husband who came to Idemudia’s house while he was still in the hospital, accusing him of stealing cement. Adisa defended her husband.

Obofun noticed the beauty in Adisa and tried to lure her, he succeeded by forcing himself on her and then gifted her 100 Naira and offered 5 cartons of drinks to sell at lower cost. This was due to the impending hospital bills and also fight to save the life of her husband.

Queen, a beautiful woman, uses her body to get whatever she wants, including government contracts from the ministry. She loves to use people without paying or otherwise, make payment with her body, to the extent of offering herself to Idemudia, so he won’t organize strike action on her site where he was working. She is an example of the rich who care less about the poor, she abuses power to whatever extent she choses.

The societal issue in the novel portrays the level of inhuman act by the government who milk the citizens, showcases the level of hardship in the economy, very poor standard of living, lack of job and a very deplorable economy. The Hospital always filled with sick people yet, lack of care for the citizen, they are, as portrayed in the novel, sent to their death if they could not afford hospital bills. It is that bad, sick people are placed on the floor, for treatment.

Another form is the poor pay workers receive for the high risk job given to them, if they do not receive it, there are hungry worker willing to take the job.

There is the theme of sex, as a tool for getting what you want in the economy. Queen and Obofun are guilty of this. Queen would sleep with anything just to get herself what she wants while Obofun on the other hand, just want to satisfy himself because he believes he can offer what the other party needs.

Abuse of power as portrayed by Queen, who will lay off workers who ask for more pay or pay them very little just to get her job done.

The theme of Love between Adisa and Idemudia, who never let the glitters of the society take their dignity for the love they both have for themselves.

The novel is embedded with lots of themes like poverty and the likes and methaphor as a novel written in the 70’s, it still depicts what still happen in our society today.

It’s a must read.

Book Review by Nimota Dauda-Ajao(Neematdiary)

Book Review: Broken Ladder

An Epistolary by Lekan Oyegoke…

As we have kinds of poetry, same goes for novel, there is epic, epistolary, Bildungsroman and more.

Broken Ladder is a kind of Epistolary one never gets bored at reading, a novel written in form of letters.

It follows the life of different students in their walk through life, thier education and lifestyle.

As the title, so is their life depicted in the novel, Segi and Anna are friends in school, very diligent and good at what they do, Nosa, happens to be the notorious unwanted friend who always find himslef in on trouble or the other.

This indecent act of him made him move from one school to the other till he was rusticated some day. He was proved to be a boy who might not make it in life, life thought him a different kind of lesson when he met Segi, his school mate, who is now in the university, and he, Nosa, a driver.

Segi’s advice made him give his life a re-think by going back to school. This story is still in form of a letter, you need to pick up the book to find out how. Nosa finally was able to gain admission into the same university as Segi, she was some years ahead of him.

Nosa became stronger academically that Segi expected but life has to unravel itself again, when Nosa joined the student union. This made him leave for his old life style again. Upon realizing he was left alone, he lost a year out of school but was a able to catch up still.

He found love and deceit at the sight of Segi. Several other unraveled Stories in this epistolary worth reading and learning from. As the title portrays, though the ladder was broken, life finds it’s way to mend it back.

Review by: Dauda-Ajao Nimota

Book Review: ILL WINDS

An African novel by Lekan Oyegoke..

Story follows the sudden rich lifestyle of two city moguls who once lived together as neighbors, they never for once liked each other. An epic tale, that digs into the lavish life being lived by these two men, portraying wealth and power, influence in the society and their dark world.

Pappy Kay, who was formerly known as Papa Korede was Mama Korede’s husband, who is filled with disgust and dishonesty of his wife. His kind of love for Mama Korede is nothing to write home about, he only want her for his needs and wants.

Mama Korede found love in the new neighbour arms, who later became Chief Akakoko, who took her in when Papa Korede left with Mama Kudi, their neighbour as well, It was a bitter sweet experience, when she realized Chief Akakoko murdered her first son, Korede, for money rituals.

Her usual nightmares became a reality as she was left in a world new and unknown to her. This secret of Papa Korede’s wealth was revealed, yet his hands are also unclean. With the help of Kolapo and Bob, several stories were unraveled about the two city moguls.

Kolapo, who used to be a friend to Korede, wants to know the real disspaearnce of his child, while Bob through Asabe, wants to know the secret of Chief Akakoko’s wealths.

The story is filled with suspense and flashback with theme of love, betrayal, and more. The story ends with lots of questions to be answered in another novel titled “Knotty Tunes”

Review by: Dauda-Ajao Nimota

The Pandemic Beforehand

If we could see clearly within us, there has been pandemic beforehand even before battling the one at hand. We could see, yet act like it’s not within, our lives been taken every seconds, with little or no acts to make things better. Fighting this pandemic cost nothing unlike the millions being spent to fight what we face now. The cure is within us, we are the cure, it lies in our hands and in our hear

Talking about lives, using black lives, and then moving to saving humanity. Our act towards each and every one of us matters, bringing in a matter that matters so much to our lives, to our color, to our humanity as a whole. The question is “If  our lives matters, how is it being taken?”

We flee our land out of fear, to find solace where we are not loved, all we care about it to make a living, forgetting there are strings attached to this, several unseen and hidden evil, we are surrounded with, and we are left to be the survival of the fittest.

If we call racism the worst type of inhumane act, what do we call tribalism, religious war, nepotism and other inhumane acts a country battles, above it all, we have brainwashed youth who are misguided and left not to think on their own, they have allowed their fingers to work on keypads only to make notice of actions they would boldly not demonstrate LIVE.

Laws are not enforced, the police kill and harass citizens, political leaders ruling before most of us were born, making us know what human right is, ruling while out of office, political party followers head to head with each other while their leaders sit to have fun together in their houses. We as humans are being deceived, yet we know and see this, but still allow ourselves be pulled over.

We pour our rage on the internet(social media), Ofcos we are heard, but little is being done, we are indirectly told to survive by ourselves, manage and take care of our lives. Isn’t this a pandemic before the pandemic? Hunger battling the land, likewise jobless citizens crying for help, business crashing right before our eyes, the economy shaking to crisis it faces on daily basis. What’s worse than this kind of pandemic?

There came a war from overseas, fighting and battling us, yet we could not see but we could feel, this is what we have to battle, leaving behind the initial pandemic because we did not see it as a pandemic.

Killings and kidnapping being reported on daily basis, diseases killing faster than Covid-19, people being poisoned for no reason, to top it all, rape allegations flying every where, mostly true and very few unconfirmed true. Child abuse on different edges of the economy. We only need action to battle these crisis at hand and not washing of hands and using hand sanitizers.

People living with emotional heartbreak, suicide note being written and committing suicide after all. Our justice and security system playing tricks on our dear lives, so much going on, living our lives in Jeopardy.

If all of these does not sum up a pandemic before hand, then what really is? Tribal and religious war weighing in on us, before our very own eyes, taking away innocent souls in minutes, yet we leave this to battle a war we cannot see.

It is better we put this to balance and see to the pandemic we have within us, the pandemic we are battling before hand. And let us hope for a better tomorrow.

To our cyber relatives, whose fighting tool is their keypad, we seek strength for you to be able to make the fight for peace a reality.

“THE PANDEMIC BEFOREHAND”

BY: Dauda-Ajao Nimota Idera

My voice

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I seek nothing other than a voice of my own, not just the sound from my mouth but to be seen for what I say and who truly I am. My true voice is not what is heard of me, it is what is heard from me. My true voice is what is said by me and my true acts. What more do I need of a life than not just to live in fear of a world of my own, a controlled life, I barely could explain, a life of trauma and Shame, a life filled with hate for myself and not wanting it no more, a life of living in the circle of an O.

The voice I lost when I was a child, no one, not a soul believed every word that makes it’s way out of my tongue to my lips, though I’m not faithful , no lies, I’m not truthful no lies either, but there were truth in what I said, I had facts, I suffered in silence, no one trusted me. this made me bear it secretly that it’s a norm for me to be treated this and that way. I had no objection to insults, abuse, brutality, I couldn’t even defend myself, physically and emotionally, I became paralyzed. What was left of an unnoticed broken child?

I lost count of the abuse I faced as a child, I grew up, seeing this still as part of me, as a norm, I still could not speak, who will believe me? who will defend my truth? who will I turn to? Ofcos I’m not an orphan, neither was I left with a guardian, I am at home, a home child, a female left alone to wallow in her unknown sorrowful world.

Days and years passed by, rubbed dick, I sucked dick, I was touched, no feelings till I grew older, at my late teen, I had no privilege to child sex education, luckily for me, I was taught at school, I was glad and happy, came home to inform  my folks of my new education and what has been happening to me because I suddenly grew to have. voice, I was shut off, I was blacked our, I was made to realized I shouldn’t have attended the programmed, it was never good for me. I was living in an isolated world of my own, I now live in a dark room. No one to talk to, no one to trust and I am not trusted.

The day I started growing feelings to touch due to molestation and abuse, I was show excepts from magazine, naked ladies and men together, videos of sex and so, I was told to feel what I saw and assume it’s me, then my period will come inform of water. I followed the steps with my eyes closed afterwards, I felt my pants wet with his fingers between my legs. He stays in the next building, and comes whenever I arrive from School as my parents have left for work. This continued, there were three of them as they take turns on me, touching my body parts till they pass out and become weak.

I could not speak still for I have no voice, the day I was about to raise alarm, I was told to fetch water, then a new guy lured me in and did the same, I arrived late, as usual, I have stick already soaked in water waiting to be landed on my dark shinny skin or belt of my dad’s trousers ready to be used on me. I had barely dropped the big bowl when I started feeling the pains of the bruises of the belt on my skin, I shouted for help, “beat her well was what I heard” I could not defend myself, I mentioned an uncle asked me to come, I was not asked “for what?” and further questions, I had serious beating, I begged for life, rather than add more petrol to my burning fire.

I had my first boyfriend after secondary school, I never had a taste of what love really is like, so I couldn’t tell if I’m loved or not, but I know I could lay my life for him. He was the first I allowed to led blood shed out of me. I had been exposed to several sexual life, I was wild with him sexually, if not that he was the first guy, he could have questioned my body count. I was in the university, living my life in a simple way, I dare not be seen as a big girl or extraordinarily dressed, I was just myself, with a voice but voiceless.

I arrived from lectures one evening, I was met with an unimaginable act that changed my life to a states worse than before, I couldn’t cry, at the end, what I heard was “you are not even a virgin!” I became scared the more and hated myself, I tried suicide but I failed and still was blamed by the architect of my troubles, then I looked up and said “Why me?”

I faced lots of heartbreak, several body counts and emotional break down and the likes, I survived many of this and still live on, but trust me I forever live to blame myself for allowing myself go through this, for not standing up for myself, for not defending my life, for not allowing my voice to voice out, for not fighting my battle. I let it live within me and kill me softly while I’m alive.  Who on heart allows that to happen to her? My lived a hollow life, like a like in a cage, yet I walk freely, like I was tied in chains, my hands, legs and my body, yet I could move freely, like my mouth was tapped or glued yet I could talk, like was heart stopped pumping blood, yet I could feel my heart beat. What a life I never asked for, what a life worth living indeed!

My life is still the solo one, no voice but I could voice from behind, trust me, no man escapes a trauma and come out the same. I live a life of gentility and affection for myself and those around me, I seek not to be accepted, I just do it right. And I seek to be me and me alone.

A short story on what few ladies face/faced at the impressionable stage of their life…

This life I believe still exist, as few girls have that voice yet could not speak.

Fiction but has epitome of facts in it, as part of this has happened to a girl or two.

Written by Nimota Dauda-Ajao
Neematdiary

Novel Virus

 

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Romeo and Juliet
Took their love to Asia
Then things fall Apart
A comedy of Error we all thought

Their Ambiguous adventure
Place the world on a famished road
Even the Americanah
Is in Nervous condition

It was So long a letter
I read Under the Udala tree
The secrete lives of Baba Segi’s wives was let loose
The joys of motherhood indeed

There I saw Ake with the Kongi harvest
For we barley have a Grain of wheat
Our husband have gone mad again!
The wives yell

It was Half a yellow sun
The Akata Witch claimed she saw
She could barely see it bright
For she lives in the House of hunger

Efuru said the Grass is singing
Who fears death?
The Thing around your neck
Makes me ponder the Arrow of God

In a Dry white season, I read a Love Letter
With the synopsis of The Beautiful Ones are Not Yet Born
The Ugly ones are now on death bed
Then we will have A man of the People

Stay with me! Abayomi seek
You will be safe here! Damian Barr plead.
I saw Petals of blood
Beneath the lion’s gaze

How more can we kill this plague,
the Arrow of God we still seek
While we ask Macbeth to Stay at Home
A bit of difference we barely see

The Plague should be Born on a Tuesday
No other Freshwater to seek
Than that of Transparent City
We hope this Plague can be Trafficked to the Dust

The Sugar Girl is not happy
As the Wives Revolt
It’s a stay home for the husbands
The Palm-Wine Drinkard said.

The Anthills of the Savanah
Seen by the Children of Blood and Bones
The Arrow of God we All seek
For the battle to be won.

Stay Home! Stay Safe! The Novel Virus has no cure yet! The Novel Virus is real!

Written By Dauda-Ajao Nimota
Neematdiary
#day89of366

A compilation of Novels to describe the Novel Virus: Corona-virus.

The Act of Will

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As we all know the extent of the pandemic virus that has affected the world, we should see the effect of religion positively in our lives. Our way of life is culture while religion is a belief in and worship to the being not seen, God. We all have been seen to have looked up to the sky for help as this is already out of control, several prayer sessions have been held, national prayer day declared, prayer made often even by the health practitioners as this is way beyond anyone’s imagination and control. Help is seek from above, from the sky, from God. We all have gone back to the beginning, to the ways of the Old, to the ways of the Lord. We all turn to God. We all picking up the “Act of Good Will”.

Let’s leave the fact that some are religious that others, it should be seen a an “Act Of Will” to love our neighbors as ourselves as stated in the holy books, no matter what religion. A good religion preaches good will and acts to human and in fact, helps translate how we should live our lives in a good and marvelous way.

Covid-19, started in a particular region, which ultimately got out of hand as there is no possible cure for it, a joke the entire world thought it to be at first, till affected people started leaving for other regions and now the entire world is not safe anymore. If the “Act of Will” was practiced, there could have been a possible cure or ways to cub it like HIV/AIDS. This virus is worse, the virus communicates more that our imagination or reasoning.

A lot has been put to test ever since the arrival of this virus, our hygiene, our sense of reasoning, our love for money, work and the entire community, our manner of understanding, co-operation, how we adhere to advice given to us.

We should simply ask ourselves, how hygienic are we?.Imagine at this present age, we are told to wash our hands severally, no man would listen to that advert if not this PANDEMIC, that is  out of hand in the states. It simply speaks of how serious we took our hygiene. Several measure we’ve been introduced to, none of which we are naive of. I believe we can see how we have taken a lot for granted.

It’s been stated in several holy book and in fact, hygienically, “No man should leave a place where there is a plague”. If we had adhere to this, i bet if we would ever have a World Virus Threat. The world live in fear as there are no possible ways to treat. Our reason, compassion and love for fellow being is tested.

The overwhelming love we have shown to money, religious/non-religious gathering among others is seized via this pandemic, we have been forced to stay in our homes either we like it or not. Isolating ourselves will help curb this virus and then it dies suddenly. Our world is put to ultimate rest and the earth calls for fresh breath for few days. if we can adhere to this, we will have a better world all over again.

It is saddening how the infected numbers keep growing and death tolls keeps rising, isn’t this a mere show of hatred without us knowing? We can show love and care to the world by not spreading this Virus.

“The act of will” goes a long way in our world. the medical practitioners are facing a war, they seem not to have tools to fight, a battle no man can stand to win, a war zone that is fueled by how obstinate we are by not listening. Let us at least sympathize with them by creating a better world, they have always saved lives and now, they battle to save what has no possible means to stop till we as humans decide.

We can pick “The Act Of Will” by self isolating ourselves and take preventive measure by staying careful, clean and safe, I promise, our world will grant us that beautiful “Act Of Will” we wanted back.
Neematdiary
Written by :Dauda-Ajao Nimota
Picture from: pexels.com

Old Gate to The Sky

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There i stood
Afar, from the gate
In fear i was
imagination
Blowing me up
Turning back
Was not
A decision
yet i stood and watch
Hope not lost
Yet i feel lost
If i can
Pass this by…

No one has chosen
To pass by this
Yet i waited
For my thought
To put me through
An old Gate
I see rusted
Yet with hope
I waited to see through
Faith i have all along
For i know
It leads to the sky
A place
I call my home..

An old gate to the sky
I see, rusted with green plants
Looks dead
But speaks alive
Yet, it has no aim
Of a life see through…
My heart leads me on
To a life unimagined
To seek a life
I’m unaware of.
The gate is old
But it’s forever the road
To lead me home
I see across the bridges of hope

Neematdiary

Picture by :Paul Militaru

Questions To Life And Death

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Isn’t life good enough to stay?
Isn’t life a wonderful place to be?
Isn’t life meant to be life itself?
Isn’t life meant to be lively?

The power of life is shortened
Why can’t it question death?
Life is meant to be lived
But only the lucky ones make it to the end

We’d struggle to make the best
Out of life that has no end
Our strength, wearing out
Our lives looking so lifeless

Life can be sweet
And all of a sudden, turns sour
Life is a trial
Life is a test

Why should we face the test of time?
Why should we be tested on fate?
After we call life a teacher
Why don’t we graduate from it’s school?

Ain’t we tired of questioning death?
Ain’t we tired of asking where it’s from?
Ain’t we tired of telling him not to be proud?
Yet! we can’t just face death!

Of what pride does death have?
When It takes a branch
That can grow back
The root is never washed off.

The picture is a definition of life, as the branches are cut short or off, it’s capable of growing back as long as it’s root is still there…it can be seen as different flowers springing up at the stem, that’s how life is, along as there is life, more babies are born…

Photo by Paul Militaru