Determination

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Beyond my determination is the will to keep moving
Beyond my determination is the will never to stop
Beyond my determination is to overcome the obstacles
Beyond my determination is what i have to achieve
Why i started all that matters not what is holding me back
The road to success is rough, very rough and tough
I will sweat, suffer and will be at the point of giving up
The tunnel is very dark, darker than ever imagined
But my determination will make me see the light at the end of the tunnel
The road to success is filled with sinister, whirlwind, dark cloud,
But i will see the rain through perseverance, after the rain comes sunshine
Giving up is not an option beyond my determination
Because winners are willing to do what losers cannot.
Be Determined.
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The Beautiful Season

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The ubiquity of Ramadan, Islamic fasting month, is fasting from dawn to sunset, where a pre-dawn meal Is called Sahur and the sunset break of fast is called Iftar. This season unravels a different kind of environment, even some of the non muslims partake In the fast. .
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For donkey years, it remains a beautiful moment Muslims look up to, though, it is one of the pillars of Islam, and mandatory for all Muslims, it is seen as a way to specially connect with Almighty Allah. .
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I don’t know where to start to tell all the grouse things we achieve during this wonderful month, where every good thing you do doubles likes wise the bad, so you choose. Therefore, one should give askance look to acts that nullify the fast. .
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Ramadan is an inlet to forgoing so many things, if you’re lucky, you keep to the practice after Ramadan ends. No backbiting, smoking, drinking (alcohol mostly), fib to no one, name all the bad acts. One forgo it all. No one wants to miss this opportunity of life time for you’re not certain of the next year to come. .
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One good thing is, there’s no competition with anyone, you are awarded what you do, therefore, Muslims tend to be nice to each other, feeding the poor, reading to Quran, increase in offering Solat (5 daily prayers), name the good things, for we believed it will be doubled. .
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And the last ten days, we believe to be measurable to thousands of days, as anything asked for during the odd night, will be answered. It’s is seen as the best nights of Ramadan. .
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So much to tell on our beautiful month, make sure you observe your fast accordingly, be sincere with your solat, give zakat and recite your Quran to make meaning to you. 🤗
Peace.

Neematdiary

My Steps

One could tell how scared we both were, as he held me closer, “relax Mobola, you’ll be fine”, Ade said, in tears and fear, I was, yet, I couldn’t tell if I was scared for real or regretful of my act. There’s this joy in me, I myself couldn’t explain. .
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Everyone left, after our philosophy class this fateful day, I was bent on standing, I was directly under the fan , yet I could squeeze out sweat from my cloth, beads of sweat rolls down my body each seconds. series of questions rings my brain in search of answers, how do I get out of here, what do I do? I couldn’t even speak to myself nor anyone, shame wore me off this day. Ade noticed and walked up to me, he’s too playful to be understood. “Baby Mo, what’s up”, I gave him this awful look, like 🙄, till I realised he was real with me. “You know what, just tell me what’s wrong with you”. .
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Ade is husband to every girl on campus, he’s a real player, I wonder what those girls see in him, I’m just blind at it let me say, not just him, most guys. As it is, Ade is the only hope I have now, so I whispered how stained I am, for the first time, I could tell the cuteness in him, he felt so emotional for me, he came up with several suggestions that i got tired of till he decided to give me his shirt, which I tied around my waist. Ade walked me to the hostel, though I stay off campus, he took out time to be with me till I’m comfortable. And that was it. .
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My Steps 2
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Ade passed the night at my lodge, I myself couldn’t explain why, he’s so loving and funny, all looked like we’ve been friends in ages, just like a movie, he made me dinner, and make me comfortable in my own home. We talked about ourselves and things got deeper than expected, I couldn’t explain this myself, I woke up in his arms, I felt the warmth and how heavenly it was. .
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He pressed his lips on mine, “morning Baby Mo, I’ll see you in school”. I was shocked though, secretly I was happy and fulfilled, i just can’t explain. But I became so shy I couldn’t look into his eyes though nothing happened but I felt a whole lot in me. It was on a Saturday, till Monday we meet in school. .
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I couldn’t face Ade for several reasons, questions I couldn’t answer myself, I’m not to be seen with him. No! Not him! I yelled, and I wonder what he wants. Ade sent me letters for he noticed my attitude towards him, wish I could read them, but it all summarised to him wanting me more than imagined, in his poems, he made me realise how special I am and why I should give him a chance. I kept them all and replied none. My feelings grew for him but I couldn’t show it, Ade is a player, I can’t fall.

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“Get up woman, don’t be lazy”, shouted Ali, my husband. Ali complains of everything, I wonder and we fight a lot, our marriage is barely 5 years, and I could tell the number of times family and friends have settled several fight. I feel worn out every time. I’m a full-time house wife, I followed all of his instructions, I’m not even entitled to my life anymore, i wonder what more he wants in me as a wife, yet my parents asked me to endure. Several scars on my body, bruises and all, no access to a happy life, in tear I am everyday. .
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I felt this soft touch on my shoulder, at the mall not far from my house, I came to shop for the house, guess who it was, I bet you know. I forgot the housewife in me to throw myself at him. It’s been ages, how’re you, and work, how’s everyone? … I noticed how puzzled he was as I ask him series of questions which he answered none. I noticed he was married too. “Mobola, what happened to you? What is wrong with my Mobola” before I knew what was happening, tears roll down my eyes. He didn’t even say much, he dragged me to his car and drove me off. .
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At his house, he simply told me I shouldn’t worry about his wife who was always on business trip everyday of her life, told him everything about my marriage, he told me about his , there I knew men also have issues in their home, he was not happy with his marriage as well. I knew I was done for that day for I’m not even home at the expected time and I could imagine the beating Ali will give, Ade, held me and said, “Baby Mo, you won’t marry him again, I’ll marry you now” there was this alarm I felt in my brain like… I can’t even explain. “How can you have bruises and scars all over you, why will you allow yourself to be treated this way?” I gave no answers.
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I was not listening to any of his words again but asked to be dropped off, Ade dropped me at my gate, that was the beginning of the end. Ali was right at the window watching, Ade asked for a kiss which I declined…I got in carrying the things I bought, that was all I knew. I woke up at St Nicholas hospital, on the Island…
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4:
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Soaked in tears as Ade calmed me, “Just relax Baby Mo”, he kept saying. If crying could turn to river, we would have been washed out of his house.

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“Ade! I lived all my life for Ali the very moment he asked me out, he was the perfect gentle man ever on earth” I narrated my life story to Ade, and how I met Ali with two women wearing nothing on our matrimonial bed the very evening I was discharged from the hospital, i almost ran mad.
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The sensual feeling from Ade blew me away. I couldn’t tell, so it’s true, once you feel a taste of happiness you forget the years of sorrow, I didn’t think otherwise, though we were scared. Little I could tell but woke up to a beautiful morning, having my breakfast in bed, Ade pampered me like a baby.

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“Where is your wife Ade?” He gave me the documents he received from her lawyer wanting a divorce. “I have done my best” he said, “I did all to make her a happy woman, may be I’m being paid back for my acts”
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Ofcos Ali came begging, Ade has done worse, I still wonder how he’s calm now. “I will be a better man, I’ll be your one and only”, promises upon promises, 🤨😏, I told him “BLESS YOU”. .
Ade is indeed a good man, we live happily with our children now.
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Thanks for reading 💋

©Neematdiary

My Moving Waters

It’s my dad’s birthday people, show some love

My river is never at still
Rivers flow fluently
Gushing from it’s source
Most of it clean
Clear and bright

The long lasting river
Never forgets it’s source
A beautiful child
Still look up to the parents
No matter the age

So much ups and downs
Dad still stand still
His rivers still flow
He never runs dry
The unshakable mountain

To mention it all
His beauty spreads
His good deeds sheds us light
His name pronounced with dignity
And his smiles brings joy

Neematdiary

Banking Late

How pitiful and funny
How we treat ourselves
When in need we fold arms
We sit on the fence

No one likes to fail
Or be associated with failure
Why not render help to the striving
Why wait till victory

Why bank on the winning
When striving was not banked on
Why support the outcome
When process was not supported

I’ll love you bank on me now
For i can’t just do it all aline
I’ll love you still
No matter your action

Neematdiary

Indomitable

I am the breaker
That break
But not broken
Still stands

I am the carrier
I stores keep to germinate
Nurture to make a being
A soul out of a soul

I am a slayer
Not the showoff
The one making a difference
The Queen of all

I am the rejected based on gender
Ostracized based on body
Look down upon for wealth sake
Replaced for perfection sake

I am the tree that lives
Broken branches grow
I am the flower that blossoms
Come rain come shine

And i am the indomitable
You will always require
For a complete you
No matter what!

Neematdiary

No Longer here

Deep thought I’ve got
My mind is far
Staring at my book
Not so into it
My mind is far gone

I want to leave
Leave for greener pasture
Leaving behind the troubles
I no longer want to cope
I didn’t start it anyway

So i embarked on a mind journey
Traveled as far as i could
Where no one could reach
Not even a call

While on my journey
Was met with what i couldn’t survive
It’s winter and I’ve saved nothing
But i lived the flashy live i wanted
I turned back, there was no one

I woke up

Neematdiary

The Pushers

They say:
Go! Keep moving, we are with you, right behind you
They keep pushing you
You/they won’t care how the road looks like
Destination is your main aim

They’d make you climb ladders
Lead you to the topmost of it
Bringing people down for you
Just to achieve your aim
No consent from you

At the destination, all roads blocked
You are accosted by those you brought down
You met those you stepped on to climb your ladder
Now they turned their backs at you

They said again:
Fight, let us fight
We must…

And they stood looking
They are powerless
But all has been destroyed
On your name

And you are left with none…